20 Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. 21 Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.
(Ephesians 3:20-21 New Living Translation)
Your wedding day is crazy. There are so many emotions and changes that happen within a short period of time. Many dream of their weddings and fantasize about them until the day finally approaches.
But suddenly, just like that, it’s over.
I remember when Josh and I were engaged, I could hardly stand the thought of waiting any longer to be married to him. I just wanted to step into that next season of our lives together.
*Note to anyone who is in that place now: it’s a sweet time that goes fast, so try to enjoy it. The fun and excitement of marriage approaching is so special and a time to be treasured. Be intentional while you’re there, as hard as it may be!
The day finally came, and I got to walk down the aisle to the man I had been praying for all my life. And then, 20–30 minutes later, we turned around and walked back down the aisle holding hands, but married.
It’s crazy. One minute you’re single, the next you are married.
Nothing big shifts in the atmosphere, nothing inside of you magically comes alive or transforms. You just all of a sudden, are. In an instant, I had a new identity. I had new access to things I did not have before marriage. I had a new name. New freedoms. And yet, I felt zero percent different.
Maybe you can relate!
I was still in chiropractic school when we got married and I remember going back the apartment room I was staying at near campus (Josh lived full-time in Nashville, while I finished school in Atlanta during the week). Before getting married, Josh and I had talked about everything in depth, finances included. We believed that in marriage, two become one and that includes everything. Everything that I had was now his; he had complete access to whatever he wanted and vice versa.
I had a very hard time with this, though…even after many months of marriage.
Since I was still finishing up chiropractic school, I was walking into our marriage with just under $200,000 dollars worth of student debt. Josh was fully aware and didn’t blink twice, but instead took it on as his own. As OUR own. Because we were now one. Josh got a debit card made for me and added my name to his bank account. OUR bank account.
And the struggle was real—I felt burdensome and guilty that he would have to even think about the debt I had accumulated on my own! And to top it off, he selflessly gifted me access to anything in his account.
Part of the money allotted to me each semester from my loan covered housing and basic food needs. While I got by using this money, living a healthy lifestyle left little room for luxuries or indulgences. After Josh and I got married, I remember choosing to forgo my access to his—OUR—account and only use leftovers from my loan for any of my needs.
For months after getting married, I barely scraped by. I remember the first time I used my newly gifted debit card, I was putting gas in my car to drive to Nashville to see Josh.
I felt so guilty…I actually called him to let him know what I was doing and to pretty much make sure he was okay with me getting gas.
This went on for a few months. Gradually, I would use it for a food purchase here or there, always still checking with him. Even though from the very beginning, Josh had told me, “This is your card to OUR account. Everything in there is OURS. You have complete access to use it for whatever you need or want without question from me.”
But because I felt guilty and that I was not worthy of this access, I didn’t use it. Instead, I ate subpar meals, missed nights out with friends, etc.
Some would applaud this or call it humble, when really, it’s just ridiculous. It wasn’t a matter of frivolity or that we didn’t have enough. I
t was a matter of value and identity. And because I never aligned myself with my new identity and viewed myself as having lower value than Josh, I imposed self-afflicted lack.
Guys. This is exactly how most of us respond to Jesus once we’ve said “yes” to Him. In one instant, everything changes. We have a new identity in Jesus. We have new access to power and provision—it’s pretty much a life swap.
Actually, yes, it is quite literally a life swap! Everything that we are and have, Jesus took on so that in return, we could take on everything He is and has. Many struggle with this because they don’t feel different, or they don’t feel like they have power or authority.
But just like in marriage, the feelings surrounding this change don’t determine whether or not you have that access. Your new name makes you part of the family of Christ, whether you “feel” worthy of it or not. Your new identity with your new name gives you access to all these things and commissions you to walk in the same authority that Jesus did!
And yet, most of us are not. We aren’t walking in the confidence of our new identity. We’re not making withdrawals from God’s account, so that all our needs are met. And we’re still trying to be “good enough,” so we feel we have enough worth and value to justify any requests we might make.
We will never be worthy of what Jesus has gifted us. But He has freely given it to us while taking on our debt and paying the highest price. And He calls us to refuse to accept anything less than what He gave His everything for. His payment was enough. And at the cross, it was finished—completely and wholly. You cannot add anymore to it.
Exceedingly Abundantly More is about intentionally stepping into the fullness of our “new name,” in every aspect of our lives. When we do this, we can claim the health and abundance that is ours (without having to earn it), because we live inside of the grace, the forgiveness and the power of Christ.
Hi Dr. Chelsea! 🤗 Thank you for this post it is beautiful! I enjoy all the work you and Dr. Josh do. Your support, motivation, and endless knowledge keep me going! Thanks again for all you do, always here cheering you on! Beautiful lady! Xoxo take care. 😇🙏
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